Have you ever said something when you were angry and almost immediately wished you could take it back? Maybe someone hurt you, embarrassed you, disappointed you, or simply pushed you too far.
Anger is a powerful emotion. Feeling angry is not automatically sinful, but anger becomes dangerous when it begins to direct our words, attitudes, and actions. James declares, “Let every man be swift to hear, slow to speak, slow to wrath; for the wrath of man does not produce the righteousness of God” James 1:19–20 (NKJV).
WHAT’S REALLY BEHIND YOUR ANGER? When you feel yourself getting angry, stop and ask, “Why am I really angry?” Sometimes anger is only what we see on the surface. Underneath it may be hurt, disappointment, fear, frustration, embarrassment, exhaustion, or a desire to be in control. At other times, we may be angry because we believe something unfair or wrong has happened. Becoming self-aware means learning to recognize what you are feeling, what triggered it, and how you normally respond.
The Bible doesn’t tell us to pretend we aren’t angry. Instead, it warns us not to allow anger to lead us into sin. “Be angry, and do not sin…” (Ephesians 4:26, NKJV).
SELF-CONTROL IS STRENGTH. It can feel powerful to yell, slam a door, send an angry text, post something hurtful, or say exactly what is on your mind. But the Bible gives us a different picture of strength. “He who is slow to anger is better than the mighty, and he who rules his spirit than he who takes a city” (Proverbs 16:32, NKJV). Real strength is being able to control yourself when your emotions are telling you to do something you’ll regret. “A soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger” (Proverbs 15:1, NKJV).
HAVE A PLAN BEFORE ANGER HITS. You may not be able to control what another person says or does, but you can learn to control how you respond. Self-control is not something Christians have to develop completely on their own. It is part of the fruit that should grow in our lives as we follow God: “But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control” (Galatians 5:22–23).
BEFORE YOU REACT, ASK:
What am I really angry about?
Will what I’m about to say or do honor God?
Am I controlling my anger—or is my anger controlling me?
