On planet Earth we cannot avoid social associations with fellow human beings. Since creation God saw the need for friendship among people of the Earth. In fact, God said, “..it is not good that the man should be alone…” (Genesis 2:18b, ESV). As Christians, our dealings with other people however must be managed with good judgment (Colossians 4:5-6). Godly relationships are a gift from God!
Summer is in full swing and new friend making opportunities abound. Let’s go to the book of Proverbs, the inspired writing by the wise man Solomon, and obtain God’s wisdom concerning friendship. Through His words we learn how to develop good relations with those around us and also how to avoid the obstacles that often destroy good friendships. [All scripture references from ESV unless noted]
A “good friend” is someone who can give comfort as seen in verse 17:17—”A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for adversity.” Verse 18:24 enhances that thought—”A man of many companions may come to ruin, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother.” A friend is someone who can be a source of good guidance (verse 27:9). A trusted friend with good advice is a blessing!
God’s word gives advice on the selection of friends. There are some people that should be avoided as friends according to Proverbs:
Gossips (verse 20:19)
Short-tempered (verses 22:24-25)
Those given to drinking and gluttony (addictions, verses 23:20-21)
Liars, those untrustworthy, and those inconsiderate (verses 25:18-20)
Those given to violence (verses 1:10-19)
Proverbs 13:20 gives a description of friends we want versus who we don’t want– “Whoever walks with the wise becomes wise, but the companion of fools will suffer harm.” Remember that evil company corrupts good habits (1 Corinthians 15:33). We need to desire good and sensible friends and avoid losing good friends. Of course friendship is a two-way street. Observe these don’ts:
Don’t gossip (verse 17:9)
Don’t argue (verse 17:14)
Don’t pry in affairs of others (verse 26:17)
Don’t play bad jokes (verses 26:18-19)
Don’t be quick-tempered (verse 26:21)
Don’t use insincere flattery (verse 27:14)
If we heed these things, we are less likely to offend a friend. If we do offend, regaining their trust is not easy according to verse 18:19—
“A brother offended is more unyielding than a strong city, and quarreling is like the bars of a castle.”
Let us consider these verses in Proverbs as we form godly friendships!
